For the past few days some sweet yet strange messages have been finding their way into my phone. Sweet because they are actually sweet and strange because they all share a peculiar feature among them. They all end with a “HAPPY BLAH-BLAH DAY”.God knows where I was living these 20 years for I never heard of these BLAH-BLAH days before. Maybe they were made by some hopelessly romantic couple in the last one year, or maybe it is just one of the many side-effects of getting into an institution like IIT. 😀
So these established romantic couples devised a way for others to enter into their league. “7 days to fall into love for dummies”. Follow the rules for each day and you ll be one of them. An established romantic committed couple, who live in their own dreams, have their own world which is all perfect.So let me give you a tour of these 7 steps to get (into ;)) a girlfriend. But a warning, before any practical implementation, be sure to have someone to save you in case you get bankrupt. 😀
7 Days To Fall in Love For Dummy Boys:
PROLOGUE: You begin the hunt for your gal. Lets call her SUBJECT. You first check your budget. Multiply it by the standard hottness to money ratio, to get the range of hottness in which your subject should fall. Then based on your hottness range, you start hunting for your subject. In confusion, toss a coin. Remember your subject’s friend always appears hotter, so dont get fooled.Choose wisely.
1. Rose Day:- Maybe when god was distributing fragrance to each of his creations, ROSE stole our share. Thats why it smells so good, and we so bad.(Now if you dont believe me, just put your nose into your armpits,:D). And thats why we boys send(give) it to the gals as a messenger sent to the king of an enemy territory. If the king is short-tempered, hard luck for the ROSE else its a good luck for you. In either case, the ROSE is dead, either trampled under the feet of the lady or dehydrated in her hands or hairs.
So the rule of this day is you have to give a rose to your subject. So you give rose to the subject.The more the better. Bonus points if you could afford a little adventure for that bunch of roses, and extra bonus if you could afford a cut from the thorns.
2. Propose Day:- If your reading this then I assume yesterday worked well and you are not in any hospital. :D. So today is propose day. This officially gives your subject the right on your purse. Preparations for this day includes a decent dress, lots of perfume(thnx to the rose scandal at the beginning of the world), some love quotes memorised by heart(google them, I am not good at it) and infinite number of other stuffs based on ur innovation and your budget. Bonus points if you make your own love song and extra bonus if you buy some souveniers which she likes(theres high probability of this extra bonus as your subject usually likes anything for free).
3. Chocolate Day:- I am sure the creators of these days were heavily bribed by the companies like cadbury and nestle for today is the chocolate day.Now its your chance or if you want to call it privilege to bribe your subject. Theres only one rule for this day, “BADA AND BRANDED HAI TO BEHTAR HAI.” ;). So the choice is yours, but consult your financer before investing. 😛
4. Teddy Day:- The problem with the chocolates is that by the time you are reading this step, its traces wont even remain in your subject’s body. There should be something tangible. Something she could show her friends and let them know how hot she is. So the Teddy Day got invented which is ofcourse today. The rule for this day is, “CUTER AND MEHENGA HAI TO BEHTAR HAI.” And ya, dont forget to not remove the price tag before giving her. 😛
5. Promise Day:- Today is the false promise day, not a good word for marketing so just strip it to promise day. Today is the day when you get to vomit out all those filmy dialogues into the ears of your subject. Its a rapid fire round. The more dialogues in the given time, the more bonus you get. Time is precious, use wisely. And remember, promises are for free, you dont have to consult your financer. 😉
6. Hug Day:- So finally your investments has started reaping. But dont be impatient, today is just a Hug day. Dont go beyond hugs, or you ll lose those bonuses gained earlier for no reason.
7. Kiss Day:- Ah, I am sure in the beginning some of you must have scrolled down through the post to read how the end would be and must have read this one. You naughty fellows. :P. So today is Kiss Day. The bonus points you have gained are the best used here. ;).Just enjoy.
8. Valentine Day:- If you have reached this far, you are one of those “established romantic couples”. Congrats! Now I wont tell you what to do today as I dont want my post to get censored. Just note that “Chacha Nehru’s Bday” is exactly nine months from now. 😉
EPILOGUE: One week from now, the breakup week starts. So check out for “7 days to fall out of love for dummies”.
For Boys: Note the use of word subject and respect the fact. These rules never work on gals, they just work on a subset which I mentioned as subjects.
For Gals: Although these subject hunters are appealing but please dont fall for them and then blame all of the boys for being insensitive.
For Couples: The phrase “established romantic couple” is just a satire for the relationship between the hunter and the subject. I respect your relationship more than anything and would happily like to become like one of you someday.